Having low self-esteem can have a very damaging effect on your life and your mental health. It’s not healthy AT ALL. You’re probably giving yourself a hard time on something that’s not that important, or worse, insignificant.
Do yourself a favor and stop those negative self-talk and perspective. Just stop. Today, I’m sharing with you ways on how to overcome low self-esteem so you can throw those lemons back at life and live your life to the fullest!
It’s not easy but once you overcome your low self-esteem, it’s gonna be worth it.
Stop trying to please people
For most of my life, I’ve tried to please people – my parents, siblings, friends, teachers, classmates, heck, even our nosy neighbors! And guess where it got me? It got me to a point where I get so stressed out and depressed when I can’t meet their expectations.
Now, I don’t care. I stopped pleasing people when it finally dawned on me that it’s true when they say, “you can’t please everybody.” There’s just nothing you can do about it if they don’t like how you dress or how you speak.
Don’t get me wrong. Pleasing people is not inherently evil. Sometimes it even helps, especially when you don’t know what to do. But its ugliness rears its head out when you use it as your basis on how to act and deal with yourself and with others people.
You should just do you. Stick with your principles and values, not with other people’s. Do not be a slave to other people’s expectations. There are billions of people on earth, that’s billions of different levels of expectations. Plus it’s difficult to figure out others, let alone yourself.
That makes pleasing others a tragic game. Nobody ever succeeded, so we’ll do ourselves a favor and quit before we’ve gone too deep.
Go ahead and take flight. It can be scary, but once you get past that fear, it’s liberating! You just stay true to yourself. Those who will still stick around when you do are the people you should keep in your life.
Keep a journal
When it comes to anxiety, stress and negative thoughts, get yourself a journal and start to religiously write down things you are grateful for every single day. For most people, self-expression helps them release negativity.
But here’s a better use for journals. Write down your goals, what you are thankful for, and what you love about yourself. Doing this exercise helps you build a positive self-image which is crucial to overcoming low self-esteem.
Change your internal dialogue
We are our biggest critic. An internal dialogue where you keep putting yourself down will only lead to self-hate. To overcome low self-esteem, start by becoming aware of your negative thoughts. When you catch yourself putting yourself down, challenge that negative self-view.
Remind yourself how you’ve treated people who made a mistake and compare that to how you treat yourself. Do you see a difference? If yes, ask yourself why.
Often, negative self-talk develops when we have high self-expectations. When we don’t meet our expectations, we treat ourselves harshly. We forget that it’s normal to make mistakes. That in the learning process, mistakes mean we have misunderstood something. Not fixing that misconception is another mistake.
Try this: whenever you commit a mistake, focus your attention on identifying your misunderstanding instead of finding the worst thing you could call yourself. This way, you are like that mentor who continually gives her student a chance to improve and become a better person.
Self-hate and self-love are opposite sides of one coin. They have the same goals, which is self-improvement, but different words. Turn your self-hate speech into a self-love one.
Live in the moment
Focus on what’s happening NOW and just focus on that moment. By doing this, you can choose your actions wisely and consciously without thinking about everything that hurts in your past and the worries of the future.
Surround yourself with the right people
Cut toxic people from your life. Instead, surround yourself with people who bring you happiness and positivity. Choose those who genuinely support you and reinforce your positive attributes. Stay away from people who will only criticize everything that you do and constantly tear down your confidence.
Well, let’s face it. Our circle of influence affects the height and depth of our happiness. So having the right one is quite important.
Stop comparing yourself to other people
Comparing your biggest flaws to someone else’s success only leads to low self-worth. You might not know it, but they didn’t get there as quickly and as fast as you think they did. And no matter how much you think you know about a person, you don’t see how they’re feeling or what they’re thinking.
There is no such thing as an overnight success. Every success is a series of small and connected actions that became big enough that it has become visible to anyone.
Instead of comparing, look at their success as something you should aim for. Use them as inspiration, knowing that you, yourself, are capable of such success. Everything that humans have achieved is well-within our grasps. It shows us what humans, what each one of us, are capable of doing.
Forgive yourself for your mistakes
Everybody makes mistakes. Doing something that you, later on, will regret doesn’t make you an awful person. If we only did things that are sure to succeed, we’ll never be able to learn and do anything. We’ll suffer from analysis paralysis. And well, it’s better to learn by doing. That’s what we want school kids to learn. That’s how the entire human civilization flourished. By trial and error, then a breakthrough.
Stop being too hard on yourself and learn from your mistakes so you don’t repeat it.
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